What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid of Looking Silly?

Be honest.

There are probably things you’d love to try if you could guarantee one thing:

Nobody would see you being bad at them.

You’d take the class.

Sing karaoke.

Try the workout.

Wear the outfit.

Walk into the party alone.

Learn another language.

Pick up an instrument.

Get on the dance floor.

The problem usually isn’t that we’re afraid of the thing itself.

We’re afraid of looking like we don’t know what we’re doing.

And as adults, we can get surprisingly good at avoiding that feeling.

Adults Really Like Being Competent

By adulthood, you’ve probably spent years getting good at being you.

You know how to do your job. You know how to manage your household. You know how to drive, make appointments, order dinner and navigate most everyday situations without giving them much thought.

Then someone says:

"Want to try ballroom dancing?"

And suddenly your brain realizes there’s a possibility you might have absolutely no idea what you’re doing.

Absolutely not.

We’ll be over here doing things we're already good at, thank you very much.

There’s something vulnerable about becoming a beginner again.

You might make a mistake.

You might misunderstand the instructions.

You might put the wrong foot somewhere.

Someone might see you struggle.

And worst of all...

you might look silly.

But what if looking a little silly isn’t something to avoid?

What if it’s actually a sign that you’re living?

When Did We Become So Afraid of Being Bad at Things?

Watch children learn something new.

They’re terrible at it.

And they don't care.

They fall.

They miss.

They make up rules.

They ask 900 questions.

Then they announce with incredible confidence:

"LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!"

Meanwhile, they've done it approximately 14% correctly.

It's wonderful.

Somewhere along the way, many adults lose that freedom.

We start believing that if we're going to do something publicly, we should already be good at it.

But there's a pretty obvious problem with that:

You can't get good at something you've never allowed yourself to be bad at.

Every person you admire for being talented at something once had absolutely no idea what they were doing.

They just kept going long enough for you to never see that part.

Nobody Is Thinking About You as Much as You Think They Are

This might be one of the most liberating realizations of adulthood.

Most people are far too busy thinking about themselves to spend much time analyzing you.

That person across the room?

They're probably wondering if they look awkward.

The person beside you in class?

They're trying to remember which foot they're supposed to use.

The experienced dancer?

They're thinking about their own dancing.

We imagine a giant spotlight following us around whenever we're uncomfortable.

Usually, there isn't one.

And in an environment full of people learning, mistakes aren't unusual.

They're expected.

At Dance Life, we've seen people:

Turn the wrong direction.

Forget entire routines.

Start on the wrong foot.

Lose count.

Bump into someone.

Have a complete mental blank.

And, yes, occasionally invent a brand-new dance move entirely by accident.

You know what usually happens?

Everybody laughs and keeps dancing.

The People Having the Most Fun Aren't Always the Best

Go to almost any party, wedding or social event and watch.

There's usually someone who's objectively a fantastic dancer.

And then somewhere else there's a person having the absolute time of their life who may or may not have any idea what's happening.

Guess who everyone wants to be around?

Fun doesn't require perfection.

Neither does confidence.

Neither does joy.

We sometimes postpone enjoyment until we believe we've earned the right to participate.

"I'll go dancing when I'm better."

"I'll wear that when I lose weight."

"I'll travel when I'm more confident."

"I'll go to the party when I know more people."

But your life is happening while you're preparing to eventually participate in it.

You don't have to be impressive to be involved.

Being a Beginner Is Actually Kind of Amazing

There's something we don't talk about enough:

Being a beginner can be incredibly fun.

Everything is new.

The victories are tiny—and exciting.

You finally remember the pattern.

You make it through an entire song.

You recognize the dance when the music starts.

Someone asks you to dance and you realize you actually know what to do.

Then one day, without realizing exactly when it happened, you're not quite a beginner anymore.

And something that once felt impossible has become normal.

That feeling is hard to replicate when you only stay inside the things you already know.

Embarrassment Has a Very Short Shelf Life

Think about an embarrassing moment from ten years ago.

Maybe you tripped.

Said something awkward.

Forgot someone's name.

Did something completely ridiculous.

You survived.

Chances are, almost nobody else even remembers it.

Yet fear of embarrassment can influence decisions that affect years of our lives.

We avoid trying something because we might experience 30 uncomfortable seconds.

Thirty seconds.

In exchange, we might miss a hobby we would have loved.

A friendship we would have made.

A trip we would have taken.

A skill we would have developed.

A story we'd still be telling years later.

That's a pretty expensive trade.

Confidence Isn't Looking Cool

We sometimes confuse confidence with appearing polished.

They're not the same thing.

Real confidence isn't:

"I know I'm going to look good doing this."

It's:

"I might look completely ridiculous, and I'll be okay."

That's freedom.

When you stop needing every experience to reinforce the image you have of yourself, your world gets much bigger.

You can experiment.

You can fail.

You can laugh at yourself.

You can change.

You can discover things you never knew you'd enjoy.

And ironically, the person willing to look a little silly often becomes the person everyone else thinks is confident.

Dance Is Basically Practice for This

Learning to dance gives you repeated opportunities to discover that mistakes aren't emergencies.

You mess up.

You recover.

You keep moving.

Sometimes your partner doesn't even notice.

Sometimes they definitely notice.

Either way, the music continues.

That's a surprisingly useful lesson outside the ballroom too.

Not everything has to be perfect before you move forward.

You can make a mistake and recover.

You can lose your place and find it again.

You can laugh instead of criticizing yourself.

You can try again.

And eventually, you start carrying some of that freedom with you when you leave the dance floor.

Imagine What You Might Be Missing

Think about something you've secretly wanted to do.

Not something you should do.

Something that sounds fun.

Maybe you've watched other people doing it and thought:

"I wish I could do that."

Here's a question:

What's actually stopping you?

If the answer is:

"I'd probably look ridiculous..."

Good.

Look ridiculous.

Be new.

Ask questions.

Mess it up.

Laugh.

Try again.

Because someday you may look back and realize the moment you were so afraid of wasn't embarrassing at all.

It was the beginning.

Life Is Too Short to Always Look Cool

At Dance Life, we obviously want people to become great dancers.

We teach technique. We set goals. We celebrate improvement.

But there's something else we hope people learn here too:

Give yourself permission to participate.

Come to the party before you know every dance.

Take the lesson before you feel coordinated.

Try the performance before you consider yourself a performer.

Go on the adventure.

Meet the people.

Make the mistake.

Take the picture.

Laugh about it later.

Because a life spent protecting yourself from ever looking foolish can become a life where you miss an awful lot of fun.

And we'd much rather have the stories.

So here's your September challenge:

What would you try if you knew nobody was judging you?

Whatever immediately came to mind...

Maybe that's exactly what you should do next.

Be a beginner.

Be imperfect.

Be willing to laugh at yourself.

And most importantly—

don't sit on the sidelines of your own life.

Come Live the Dance Life.